A series of unfortunate events: Chapter 2; Swimming with the Pigs.
Welcome to chapter 2 of this series of unfortunate events, devoted to swimming with the pigs. Firstly, to read chapter 1 on Uninvited Airlines, click here. Furthermore, this chapter focuses on my time in the Exumas, Bahamas and the unfortunate events that took place. Enjoy!
Furthermore, this blog post is by no means trying to discourage future Bahamas travellers on visiting the Swimming Pigs. It is simply a story on the events that took place during our visit. However, it can still act as a precaution to future travellers, and hopefully give an insight on the dangers associated with the Swimming Pigs in the Bahamas.
I’ll just jump right in. To begin with, there’s a handful of things to do in The Exumas, Bahamas. One of them being swimming with the pigs. Yes, you’ve read right. You actually get to swim with the cutest pigs in the middle of the Bahamas. These pigs have their own island (ugh, #Goals?) where they live happily ever after and they regularly swim with tourists who feed them. Many tour guides offer guided boat tours around the Cays, where you can see all things Bahamas has to offer. One of these things is swimming with the pigs…wait. If you want to go to the beginning and read about all things Exumas, click here.
Part One: Government Dock.
Directions
Now back to the unfortunate side of this story. First things first, on the day of the tour, we had a choice either;
A. the tour guide would have picked us up from our accommodation or,
B. we would drive to the designated boat area.
For the reason of my being a stubborn S.O.B., I decided that since we already rented a car, we should just drive to the designated meet up place. I mean, makes sense right?
As an effect, the tour operator sent me an email with a complete set of rules, tips and directions on the whole tour sitch. This set of directions, however, were at the bottom of a very, very long email that I promise tried to read at least three times. Here’s the catch. However, at the very top of the email, it clearly stated “be at the Government dock (Barateere) at 10:00”. I naturally assumed that there was just one Government dock, since the island was like, really small!
As a result, we embarked on our adventure and were at the Government dock (not Barateere) at 10:00 AM sharp. We pulled our car up and a lovely Bahamian guy approached us and asked “Where are you girls headed?” which we responded with “Oh, we’re here for Coastline adventure tours!”. The horror in his eyes was indescribable. He legit responded with the most over-the-top, hands-on-his-head-eyes-bulged-out “Oh no! That’s on the other side of the island!”. As IF the island is as big as f*cking Greenland.
Fun fact: There’s actually two of them.
Car Race
The boat’s scheduled depart time was at 10:30. As a consequence, we had to drive like professional car racers on an island to make it. An island that has one straight road. An island which I thought was a 30 minute drive from end to end. I was wrong, again. After a 40 minute what felt like a car chase that would have definitely gotten us arrested or dead later, we made it, safe and sound. Sorry, Mom and Dad. #DontKillMe.
Part Two: Swimming with the pigs.
So we went on the boat, saw the different things one has to see (read here), and then finally reached the highlight of the cays; the pigs. When we approached the area, the guide warned us that these cute creatures may or may not well, bite you. To be fair, not all of them do so, just the very big ones who have the black dots on them. These pigs go for the juicier behind, a.k.a. the butt. Oh and also, one should avoid feeding them with the palm closed, and just have the bread laid straight out onto your hand.
We were warned but apparently, not warned enough for two of my friends. One of them, and for the sake of this series will be referred as the Zero Fucks Given girl, legit tried to pick a piglet up and got tackled and bit by its mom. #Hilarious. The other, and I shall name her the Opposable Thumb girl, fed it the exact way the tour guide said not to because #F*ckThePolice and got bit on her thumb. In both cases, they bled. In both cases, it was f*cking hysterical.
Part Three: Clinic.
A lot of giggles later, the Opposable Thumb girl’s *piggy* senses kicked in and realised that this bite could turn into an ugly infection. Consequently, the two girls rushed to the clinic. Apparently, these pigs bite quite a few tourists, and although the pigs have tags and are supposedly clean, it’s better to be safe than sorry. As an effect, the lovely nurse on call gave them free Tetanus shots on their arms and wrapped the Opposable Thumb girl’s thumb. #YayBahamas.
As a result of the Tetanus shot, it left both the Zero Fucks Given girl temporarily crippled and the Opposable Thumb girl, you guessed it, with no opposable thumb. Not frustrating at. all.
To sum up kids, the moral of this story is:
A. If a pig bites you, don’t just laugh it off. Visit the clinic, get your shots.
B. Follow the rules, and finally,
C. Nature can be a bitch.
Thank you for reading this post, I hope you enjoyed it! In addition, to read more on my series of unfortunate events, feel free to check out chapter three and chapter four!
Finally, for more Caribbean destinations, check out my other blog posts here!
-VB x
