A series of unfortunate events: Chapter 1; Uninvited Airlines.
Ah, Uninvited Airlines. How much do I detest you. Ok, maybe not detest, but a strong dislike surely. I thought about writing something different, and in this case, something that was just too juicy and good not to share with you guys.
Furthermore, this blog post is by no means trying to discourage future travellers on flying with this airline. It is simply a story on the events that took place during our flight to the Bahamas. However, it can still act as a precaution to future travellers, and hopefully give an insight on the poor operation of said airline.
Yo listen up, here’s a story, about a little girl (*insert ‘I’m blue’ song*) who wanted to travel the world and thought that gathering the mullah and knowledge for her travel arrangements was the hardest part of traveling. How wrong could this ill dumb b*tch be. This lil dumb b*tch being me.
This story is about my month long travel experience through Europe – North America – Central America – Europe and Asia. If you enjoy reading about other peoples misfortune, perhaps get a little giggle out of it then this series of blog post is well suited for your needs. It’ll be a series of 4 chapters, one for each time I died a little bit more inside. The first chapter in this series is devoted to my amazingly horrible experience with (and for the sake of this blog post, and in efforts of not getting sued, I’ll be naming this airline) “Uninvited” Airlines. #SorryNotSorry. Get ready for a bumpy ride bitchachos.
It all started on the 9th of March when I left London to fly out to New York. It got off to a good start, having 2 celebrities on my flight there (Marc Jacobs and Stanley Tucci). What better than casually flying with two celebrities, one of which I actually spoke to. OK, our conversation might have been something along the lines of “Are you waiting in line for the bathroom?” and “No, no, I’m just stretching, go ahead” (perks of booking a seat next to the toilets I guess), but whatever, it still counts. So I landed in New York and had a bitching time. Apart from having a homeless man grope me – which to be fair, it is New York, nothing special about that – it was an amazing 5 days. And here’s where it all started to go South.
The first flight, at 6:50 AM, was scheduled from Newark airport to Nassau, Bahamas. With hardly any sleep, we would have arrived in Nassau, have a 5 hour layover to explore the area for just a bit and then catch another flight to our final destination; Exuma, Bahamas. Ha. Ha. LOL.
Try to imagine five young basics, at 5 AM at the airport, with the whole “so freaking excited, ohh my gooshh can’t wait to go to the beach O.M.G ugh I rly need this soo much rn” mantra. We were so excited to go on #SpringBreak! to the Bahamas, like most of your beloved Americans, but good old Uninvited Airlines did it again and fucked it all up. Here’s what really happened.
We boarded our flight, a full flight filled with a bunch of really vacation-deprived New Yorkers. And that’s when the waiting game begun. An hour had passed when we were then informed that there was something wrong with the plane. #LeftPhalange. Fair enough, I’m all for you know, not dying and stuff. The engineers were fixing the problem, while Everyone waited patiently-ish. That is everyone except for this really nervous guy behind me, and for the sake of this blog post I’ll name him Eugene who kept nagging this girl “Donna” who was sitting right in front of me that they should get off the plane now. She ignored him. The engineers were trying to fix the problem for what seemed like an eternity but sadly, they couldn’t. As a result, we all left the plane and waited impatiently for another to take us to Nassau. Eugene was happy.
This lead to another four hour wait at Newark, with the same bunch of now very unhappy New Yorkers. Alongside was an extremely, utterly pissed groom-to-be who was getting married in the Bahamas that same weekend. Random as this last point might be, I just wanted an excuse to talk about #Goals. As an effect of the now six hour delay, we missed our opportunity to A. get some shut eye on the plane, B. explore Nassau, and C. our connecting flight to Exuma.
Light at the end of the tunnel
At this point in the story, we had reached out to Uninvited Airlines for help on what we should do. Let me tell you right here folks how useless this was. Not only were they of no help, they informed us that there weren’t any other flights out to Exuma and so we would have had to find a last minute overnight stay in Nassau. Ugh, that was a no from me. Shout out to Skyscanner.com for finding us five tickets on another flight to Exuma! Which we would still be cutting it real short on making it.
Another hour and another plane later, we finally boarded our flight. Eugene was ecstatic. We flew to Nassau, leaving us with a 50 minute window to make our Exuma flight once landed. By this point, a few fellow travellers became aware of our situation. Hats off to the lady at 10 C for making a scene and getting us off the plane first! #GirlsLookingOutForGirls.
We legit rushed through the airport to catch our Exuma flight, being all dramatic and Ross-from-Friends-at-the-airport-wanting-to-stop-Rachel-from-leaving like. Here’s the funny part. Our luggage still hadn’t arrived. And so we had to wait, alongside the rest of the plane. Not embarrassing at. all.
To wrap this chapter up, we made it. And landed at beautiful Exuma. Seven and a half hours late.
Thank you for reading this post! I hope you enjoyed reading it far more than what I enjoyed experiencing it. To read the continuation of what came next, click here.